- an interview with Bex Weller.

This is a quick story, followed by an interview, about how now is always the best time to start… and what this mentality does for your health, motivation and self respect. (It TOTALLY Improves it!)

The Back Story

Back in early October I was told my by environmental doctor I had to go on a very strict diet to rid myself of some nasties in my tummy I’ve picked up from travelling over the years. As you may know if you’ve been around here for a while, I have in the past done some serious damage to my body and I’m still paying for it today.

I’ve been honestly in denial about this for a long time - doing a few healthy things here and there but never really surrendering to the fact that I have to be rather serious about healing for a long while (maybe even a few years) If I ever want to heal completely. Cool. Thanks Universe. Got it.

The protocol involves quitting sugar, grains, most foods with seeds in them, dairy, starchy foods caffeine, and fermented foods - which also meant no alcohol… and living mostly off green veggies, protein and nuts… for 90 days. 90 DAYS!!!

The pain in my belly was pretty hectic and making me feel tired all the time. But I had 3 weddings and 2 business conferences coming up, I’d just moved into a new home town with my man, and was about to be travelling and not even in my own space for the next month… Then it was going to be Christmas and then we're going to… and it continues. I don’t have space in my life for being a hermit who doesn't drink right now.

I decided to wait until the madness of the wedding season ended to start this protocol. And totally denied the fact that right after wedding season, comes silly season.

I was a bridesmaid at the first wedding of three weddings in a row - and it was so beautiful by the way - But I was in a fair amount of pain from having one glass of champagne and almost fell asleep before the sun went down.

Not Cool.

I knew the next day I couldn't wait until 2017 to start. I had to start right away - but I was away from home, and that weekend I had another wedding - the wedding of one of my very best friends from high school, and someone whom I LOVE having a drunken boogie on the dance floor with. I don’t have time for this!

Alas though! Computer says no. My body was screaming for attention and I knew I couldn't put this off.

I started to panic. All of a sudden, out of seemingly nowhere, I started having fears about losing all my friends if I was sober for that long. (Where is this coming from? I have friends who never drink at all!) I started feeling anxious about feeling left out and like a total loser. About being seen as the boring one. I started worrying my boyfriend would think I’m boring, and and I’d probably never have fun ever again, and being picked on at the upcoming weddings, and feeling like i was missing out on something. I knew these thoughts weren't real, but daaaaamn they were there, front and centre - and clouding my judgement.

You know those times when you’re right at the edge of your comfort zone - and you draw a blank? Instead of being able to think straight, for some reason, you’re just… empty? Yeah - that was what was happening to me.

So there I am. Freaking out about what I know I have to do. Not feeling ready at all (When are we ever ready to do the big scary life changing things right?…) And perfectly aware that judgeng by the mount of fear in front of me, this was certainly going to be a life changing experience.

Enter Bex Weller.

I downloaded her book and couldn't put it down. I read the thing over two late nights. And it was just what my soul needed.

That book had me hook line and sinker, and helped me get through not only the next few weeks of travel and business with ease and energy, but seeing the world entirely differently. Despite so much change happening in my world lately, I feel more grounded and strong than ever. The decisions I’ve made for my health have been utterly potent.

So naturally, I had to share Bex with you.

She’s beautiful, she’s a shiny example of what she teaches, and she had the BEST answers to some hard questions I had for her.

I think this video is perfectly timed for this part of the year - but truly the best time to make good decisions is now - whenever now happens to be.

Video Show Notes:

Find Bex at www.bexweller.com and Sexy Sobriety at www.sexysobriety.com.au

Can’t Listen? Here’s the Transcript:

Hi everyone and welcome back to Hayley Carr TV today,  I've got a really exciting interview and very interesting interview for you. And it's Rebecca Weller from bexweller.com. And I'm just going to introduce her for a moment Rebecca Weller is a health and life coach author and speaker named one of Perth's leading healthprenuers by The Sunday Times Magazine. Rebecca has coached hundreds of women to get their sparkle back and create a life they love. She's the creator of sexysobriety.com and vegansparkles.com and she provides one on one and group coaching programs. Hosts live events and she's the author of An amazing new book “A Happier Hour” Rebecca’s work has been featured by the Australian the Huffington Post Mind-Body grain SBX food good health magazine and Elle Quebec. You can find her at bexweller.com

Rebecca thanks you so much for coming on Hayley Carr TV today.

Thank you so much for having me here Hayley.

So just to give everyone a little bit of background as to why I'm so keen to share you with the world today.

I've dabbled in and out of you know going for long periods without having alcohol you know growing up I was an athlete I went for long periods of time without drinking before big tournaments and things like that. But I always come back and party really hard after this tournament was done an it was really hard and it was always really super fun. And then over the years I developed chronic fatigue syndrome as some people know I've watched my videos and healed but all throughout I've just had this sort of feeling that I needed to up the ante on my health.

Now, A few months ago  actually more than a few months ago I was told by a health practitioner that I had to go on a really strict diet which meant no sugar no alcohol no grains like this is crazy sort of diet for sort of one month to 90 days. Now you know when are you going to get the time to go on a 90 day sort of cleanse specially coming into the Christmas season. But I was really unwell in the tummy so I had three weddings coming up and a business conference and I just knew that it was but you know it was just come in. And after that it was Christmas and then were going away for New Years and then January was like What am I going to get to do this? and I had to go away for a month. And I started really freaking out about my health because I thought well if I don't start this at some point I'm going to have to wait till 2017 to get started. And then though probably something else come up. So I went to the first wedding and I had a great time I just had a couple of champagne. But it was just affecting my health. And then I decided Okay, you know what stop it. I can't wait any longer.

I'm going to start this program today and all these. Excuse my French. All this shit came up like I said having fears about what people think of me because I still had two more weddings to go to as my best friends. I'm thinking oh my god I don't know how I'm going to get through this.

Along comes Bec’s book “A Happier Hour”. I picked up and I could not put it down until I was done. And your story is just amazing and it really helped me so even though I've gone through periods where I have not had alcohol for long periods of time I found that this time it was a little bit different because I was I'm really taking a stand for my health at this point.

I'm really curious to ask you questions and. And just kind of share you with everyone because I know a lot of people dabble in this idea of quitting like doing dry July and stuff like that and just quitting for a little while and then get back on the bandwagon and just sometimes it's just a little niggle isn't it to say like something else out there. So tell us your story.

That's what happened.. Working in the corporate world for many years, I mean if I go back to where am I in a relationship with alcohol again when I was like 16 or 17 when I first started trying alcohol,  I was really quite shy girl quite introverted so alcohol helped make me feel like I was confident make me feel I could talk to people and not be socially awkward. I know people are very early days that I fell madly in love with it, and over the years I lived in London in banking, I lived there for years, and then I moved to Sydney a few years and I went back to Perth and throughout those corporate years,  I found myself working with different industries like banking, oil and gas where it was very much a culture shock to drink a lot. You know there are a lot of functions and events and work launches and things like that. You know I kind found I drank a little bit more than my friends or perhaps not even drank more but perhaps just the next day it affected me more I mean I was horrified by the things I might have said. I would have memory loss as well, like not remember parts of the night. I have blackouts and that really scared me. And just really it just affected me the next day. I'm just where I would have this shame spiral, where I would have the a hangover all the all the other lovely effects that we've all felt before, but really it really affected the way I felt about myself when I didn't realize at the time was really affecting my relationship with myself.

Because the funny thing is that, when we make promises to ourselves as well, just like Okay I will go to this function on Friday and I’ll only have three drinks, and now I have eight or I would I think I am only drinking 4 nights a week you know and then I’ll drink six. Breaking these promises to myself over and over again not understanding that that was damaging that relationship with myself. If you can’t trust yourself to take care of yourself who can you trust. Everything was affected  every other relationship in my life, I couldn't really trust myself to make good decisions as far as where I wanted to take my life.

It all came to a head actually when I started to like in 2011 I decided to follow a vegan lifestyle. I was still in the corporate world, but I started this little food blog so I was just having fun having a creative outlet and I just thought it was just to share with friends and family when I was learning about vegan food. You know in 2011, people were like what an earth is vegan so I would share recipes that I was learning with them. This little blog was getting lot of readership. And I was still in the corporate world and I really thought I would be there forever, I thought I would retire there because the perks were good, I wasn't completely fulfilled but you know I didn't see any other option and over the year or so my little blog got a following a readership and I started to feel this responsibilities , so you know colleagues would always ask me questions about veganism. I was eating a lot of packaged and processed food and I thought the more people ask me the more I feel a responsibility to be a healthy example. So the Institute of Integrated Nutrition in New York caught my eye and I decided to enroll there not to become a health coach but just to learn more about nutrition that I could share on the blog just as a fun hobby. Well at the end of that year I decided you I look so much and I really started to change that relationship with myself where I thought I need to share this.

I'm so I'm promptly resigned for my corporate career. I decided to create my own health coaching practice and launch straight into it. So I felt like I had by that point,  I had the food worked out you know previously I always been stuck this diet mentality, of self-loading and body hatred. I felt like I had the food figured out by the time I launched into this coaching practice . And I felt like I had a lot of this self care principles figured out. But I still have this binge drinking issue, part of me believed that when I changed when I decided that I'm going to be a health coach now that I was magically be transformed and I wouldn't still have this destructive relationship with alcohol. I wouldn't keep binge drinking because I was very much a binge drinker so I could go for you know go for 10 days or so with no drinking and think wow! I feel amazing. Well it's Friday and the day I’d go crazy again and find myself in that cycle.

So there are a few catalyst you know the first six months of being an entrepreneur it is so scary and it’s so confronting you are doing everything for the first time you don't have any clue what you’re doing  like how you run the business ? How do you do this stuff? So I found myself actually leaning on wine more than ever before because all of those anxieties came up all of those long held limiting beliefs really scared me and so it was a good way to sooth my anxiety but I found myself using it even more today to soothe myself or calm down, to made me not feel anxious to escape.

Six months or so into my entrepreneurial journey, my partner, who really had never been much of a drinker so for him to see me sort of sitting on the couch next to him at night having a few glasses of wine when he's not drinking. He's like What are you doing? We are just chilling out here. Why do you need to drink like this? I really didn’t know anyone that wasn't into drinking as much as the rest of my friends and family so I was like What do he mean? And he started to plant that seed where I was like- why do I need it so much? Why do I feel myself not just wanted to use it to celebrate stuff like that. but I’m also grasping at it when I feel secure I'm really really latching on to it. And then I was sitting in one of my coaching coaching session with one of my beautiful health coaching clients one day and she said to me you know sometimes when I feel , I find myself drinking when I feel lonely and I heard myself say Well that’s okay. I was horrified when I said that because I thought it's not Okay, It’s not Okay. I'm really starting to think I need to sort this out once and for all when it comes to myself  like I really need to walk my talk and crying out loud and felt like such a fake such a foney by trying to be a health coach and still having this binge drinking issue.

You know I'll go out with my good friends from the corporate world and I'll be like how’s your health coaching business going? And I’m like Oh, It goes so well and then I drink myself silly and be the drunkest one of the group. And it's like, what are they doing? That shame spiral got even deeper even further down. So I embarked on a sobriety experiment I finally reached breaking point it and I was just like I understand what was my relationship has developed over the years ,  why I've got to this point that I just couldn't see any other option because I've been trying to moderate for years. You know you try to making these rules and I kept breaking them.

I thought I need to do something different. I really needed to try something that felt very extreme very very confronting and terrifying at a time. Coz just like you I had a tonne of things coming up as well. I had weddings because I had birthday. It was so scary to think about going through all of that with not drinking. Twenty years I had identity to be the first girl up at the bar, getting everyone drinks and having a good time. I thought if I’m not that anymore then who the hell am I? I have no idea where this will lead to but without any other options I feel I need to just do this and just saying what happens so I committed to 30 days first.

Because I was like I think I want to do three months but I’m not quite sure that I can actually do that much or I’m capable of that. I had never done one month since I started drinking. I could remember anyway. And so I embarked on it. I did my one month then I go let's do three months. When I got to three months, I was like oh my goodness I've started to change it's up to change some beliefs some behaviors where I was seeing Oh my goodness this life can be so much better. I used all of the tools that I've used in my health coaching training and I consumed everything online that I can find and so the books, the blogs, Ted talks and podcasts everything that I could soak up.

I really felt this incredible inspiration to bring it to other women to show them because I thought if there are women out there who are struggling with this as well. Who think that the terrifying idea like I did to go for that three months without alcohol they will never find out what it can be truly like how magical it could truly be because I believe that I have fun again for the rest of my life would’ve been boring and grayiand dull and horrible.

I'm forever be pining for it. Instead what I discovered was wow what an impact it has not only on my relationship with myself. But my relationship with everyone in my world.  My health. My Wellness, My Finances. My self esteem. My productivity, my creativity just everything skyrocketed. That was what brought me to creating a program called Sexy Sobriety where right now I coach people from around the world to get through that first three months and we do one lesson per day. I call it 90 lessons in self-love. I just keep them step by step actions on how to start changing, how to start create a life so nourishing that alcohol can’t add anything they don’t already have.

That is amazing. You're so brave for doing that, in you know starting in the industry that you started in in the corporate world. OK I there's two questions that came up just while you was while you were saying that the first one is you know would you have considered yourself because I'm seeing a lot of stuff in the media at the moment about what alcoholism really is.

And you know I started thinking to myself Am I a little bit alcoholic? when I started having a freak out about showing up to a wedding and not having any drinks and I know that I'm the same when I'm sober as I am when I'm drunk. I know that. But I was breaking out about, I don't even know what I thought is this is this alcoholism?

Like am I using this health thing as it is just to kind of excuse for? It's a really nice way of saying I need to quit the drink for a little while. It's much easier? It's more palatable for everyone to understand?  Like would you have considered yourself? And I'm talking I guess more of a social scale here. Would you consider that you were an alcoholic on some level?

Well it's such a funny thing right now. These labels might like I just think that they are just not helpful. Because that was the thing I really believed most of society does is that we are having normal drinkers or we have alcoholic?

So I thought if I’m not drinking in the morning and if I go 10 days without drinking, then I’m not an alcoholic.

So, even though I would binge drink and drink more than I wanted to I would think well I don't really have a problem. So that label I think keeps us stop because well I don't have a problem then. I’m not an alcoholic; I’m just a normal drinker.  What I've discovered is huge gray area of different relationships with alcohol and so I started to think.

What if just my relationship with alcohol - is it a destructive one, is it a dysfunctional one,  can I say that?  Yes? OK. Does it feel like I have more control over me than I want to. I mean will I get upset if I go somewhere and it wouldn't get any alcohol. Yes -

Now when I read books by self-proclaimed alcoholics I can definitely identify with a lot of the thought patterns that are going on there and a lot of the the obsession so it's a tough one.

I still don't say I was an alcoholic because I also think that label with people can be stuck long term to say, You know I have a disease then I’m been stuck with this. You know this is a very controversial topic and very much but so maybe it's more helpful to say I had an issue with that to overcome like smokers, right?  You don't say for the rest of their life that they stuck, they’ll gonna be pining for the cigarettes. Instead  I find it more helpful to say I  had a very dysfunctional relationship with alcohol, now I don’t.

I love that. Thank you for clarifying that because I think that they can get stuck like a lot. I'm not an alcoholic. Surely I'm not or am I. And what's the spectrum of this.

And yeah there is a massive gray area and that's what I just got out of what you said that it's a really individual like classification of your social conditioning and your relationship with alcohol and what you believe you know it comes down to self-worth and everything to.  Yeah. Thanks for clarifying that.

I think a lot of people would be able to relate to the fact that they're not an alcoholic and I personally don't like labels either because I believe it's just addiction and addiction can be healed or recovered from. Yeah you got some kind of a need for it. It's absolutely worth looking into. This is so interesting. So for my audience here I've got a significant amount of paper who would be watching this who are in that corporate world category with no plans to start their own business or to become a health coach or anything like that. In fact they've got a case of pressure on them because they're in high level leadership jobs. Maybe they've got kids, mortgages things like that. So, What kind of. Maybe you can just give one or three of your favorite kind of insightful tips for those people who are right now.

Yes I'm seeing myself on that spectrum. I'm like I'm somewhere in that gray area.

Like what. How do I do this because my work functions all relate around alcohol like everything has to do with alcohol. I'm more creative when I have alcohol in my blood.

Like what would you say to these people?

I really believe that as well. You know, I love to write and so when I was drinking I would think all writers drink. I need it for my creativity, I won’t be creative without it and it was all a load of bullocks. What I discovered was, you actually have a greater creativity because of that clarity that comes with the long period of being alcohol free, it just really frees up your mind so to any of those women that feel like their relationship is unhealthy. I coach a lot of women who are in a corporate world as well.

So what are the things I think could be most powerful to help them to because what we find is that usually yes, they will be drinking at their social functions but that can be overcome by say they go early and then you can leave early everyone has seen you you have circulated you’ve challenge everyone while everyone else is making sense. You could just drink soda water, drink something looks alcoholic if you don't want to go into discussions with everyone. Just walk around with that soda water or something like that and walk around and chat with everyone, and then do a little disappearing act, the great thing about that the next day there is no shame around. You know making fool of yourself. There's no worry about you said the wrong thing to the boss or that he might look it up. You know all of that goes away. And you actually get home and have a better rest and you're back in the office for productivity and creativity the next day. 

Another thing that is really really powerful is really clearing because I think as women we tend to take on so much. And so I’m a big believer in simplifying, so when it comes to these high pressure jobs its setting healthy boundaries. So for example if that type of BlackBerry or phone home with them, switching it off at a certain time so I have many clients who will leave it on until they go to bed  about 10:30 or 11:00 at night. And It no wonder that we feel burnt out when we are not protecting our boundaries we are not protecting our health and wellness. So switching it off maybe at 6 p.m. maybe 6:30 something so that time is for you to decompress and to look after your family and then to go back to work feeling refreshed rather than feeling resentful because we’ve constantly got people demanding your attention. We not made to work 20 hours a day, no one could sustain that. You’ll just burn out.  Another thing is just to delegate really simplify that schedules, so delegate anything you can , I know all of us could be, we can be people pleases but we can also be perfectionists and so we could want to do things ourselves. Where true freedom comes in delegation, so delegate into colleagues and so on so that you will have less on your plate. Things like ordering a grocery delivery or organic fruit and vegetable delivery every week so that there are less things that she has to do, that she has to run around herself, because when you’re looking after a big pressure job along with family and so on it a lot of big work load, right?

And this is where the alcoholic come in like I need this, I mean I need this right now. Right. Yeah, exactly.

You know she can do other things as well that really sooth her and nurture her. Salt baths or meditation if she’s not into that or do things like the breathing exercises to help them to de-stress from the diet.

So I can hear them asking like. But what about the fun at the Christmas party? What about you know that’s our time to relax and not going to be loose and go wild. You know I mean my work colleagues or whatever when where is your party go energy being channeled.  Now. Of course.

The thing is to have fun, yes. That was the one I was most terrified about. Yeah. it was having fun, so, now I have fun in other ways so I go to some crazy classes like  hola ho classes but I also round up friends to go to things like outdoor movies. You know I just changed my idea of fun. Now it’s about true deep connection rather than you know I used to go nuts at the Christmas party and just absolutely go wild, I would be loud and bit of obnoxious sometimes.  But now it’s about having a deeper meaningful of conversations with people and so I love going to different things that really open my mind, things like art things you know, concerts in this park and things like that, where I can really chat with friends too as well.

That's so awesome. And I'm sure everyone can you know individualize that you know for themselves. And that's really awesome. Thank you so. And now let's talk about relationships like personal relationships and quitting alcohol.

For some people they've been married for a long time or perhaps like may just just entered a new relationship and it's like well there's this whole side of me that you haven't seen yet and she's really super fun when she's drunk. It's not going to happen now.

But then there's like the people who've been married for a long time and perhaps they connect on a level where they go out and they drink alcohol together.  You know where can people start with that.

Yeah, it’s really tricky especially with your partner they should be especially good relationship and when we have started these relationships when that is the one thing that we have in common and my ex-partner, that’s pretty much all we had in common and so I completely understands. So I think the place to start with first tip is to make that decision for yourself. Just lead for example or you know taking by steps because we can't change anyone else if we cannot change ourselves. And it's not fair to try to change them either that or I'm just sort of a big believer in inviting them along for the ride.

So what I mean by that is starting small. So just starting to find something that you would have in common that doesn't involve drinking. Maybe there is some shared hobby or interest, and getting tickets for that. Starting a date at night or date morning.  With my clients, they started a date mornings instead of going for a boozy dinner they go out canoeing in the morning and then go for breakfast. Yeah it’s so nice. So it's just trying to find something else and then just doing that one thing a week and letting that evolve from there and also I'm a huge believer in opening those lines of communication so sayingto your partner - this is why I'm embarking on this very unusual experiment because I feel like my relationship with alcohol is not healthy and just being open and honest so that he can understand where I’m coming from, otherwise he's like what are you doing crazy lady..

I’m feeling really bringing him along for a ride and opening up to him and opening that intimacy as well. Where you could know so then you could share with him on those weekly dates. This is felt this week seem like, you know. And the more we share the more we share just openly with an open heart. The more he can come to the party as well.

That's so beautiful. It's such a good opportunity for people to reconnect again in a new way rather than seeing it as this is going to disconnect us further because this is all we do. Now it's an opportunity isn't it to start again and reconnect in a way that is completely just you.

So many of the friends that the level of trust still has gone forever because  well, I didn't realize was at that time I could see that that their relationship with alcohol was unhealthy and I felt like you know that trust was broken. As in, many of the women were doing too much and then the personality changed a little bit and so he started to feel a little sorry to really say and come back together and it's just so beautiful to see.

Wow! That’s just such a great answer. Thanks Bex. So you've called your program Sexy Sobriety. Tell me how you know it because I believe that recovery and sobriety. You know it really is as you say it really can be quite sexy. So just personally for you.In what ways do you feel more in your body and more in tune with yourself and just more sexy since you’ve quit alcohol.

There's so many aspects to it right? I think my favorite of that I trust myself and to that level of authenticity, the level of being intouch with my intuition. I remember when people would talk about intuition and I feel I sounded so cool when I did not know what it meant . Yeah! And now that I start to experience it I'm like oh wow. It's amazing to me that’s incredibly sexy also being able to go after my passions you know really understand what truly makes me happy. I believed that the only thing that made me happy was drinking.

I really believe that every social aspect you know, I was the happiest when I was going to be drinking and to take it away, I had to learn how to live again in many ways. But learn what really inspires me and lights me up so now, to feel like I'm actually doing things that are sort of nourishing to my soul but also that really excite me. I think that's so sexy and to be able to do so much more,  that productivity cause let’s face drinking takes a lot of time, Right? I used to go to the bar for 8 hours sometimes and then a whole next day was wasted from recovering. And then you know even the day after sometimes, I’s feel grumpy and low.

So to have all the time for creativity to channel into things that I love to do. And this relates to the women in the corporate world as well, you love your job then you want to be the best at it, right? I think it’s so sexy, having the ambition, wanting to do an amazing job because it makes you feel good and sometimes we women in the corporate world find that they can lean on alcohol when the job that they're doing doesn’t quite fit what they wanted it to be. So when we embark on this sobriety experiment can be great chance to look at the career as well as a huge part of our world. And say if I'm not completely satisfied with the way things are could I ask for this different tasks? Could I delegate some things? Could I move to different department? Could I mix things up a little bit and see what would happens.

Yeah. That's really really cool. And as an experiment I think it's a I think it's great that you're calling it an experiment as well because it doesn't feel so heavy like when I first started I was like I can quit forever. That's just no way and then after reading your book I can do a hundred days. That's cool. Like that's an experiment and its for my health! That’s cool.  I can do that so.

Well I mean under your recommendation I have gone out and just read heaps of stuff and found all the podcasts and stuff there's just so much out there for people to understand and listen to which is great. I'm sort of seeing two points in the recovery sort of journey I guess where people get stuck seems to be what people sort of gravitate around. And the first one is like in the beginning when it's like I can't I just don't know I like having that initial sort of freak out and the second is sort of after the experiment is over and maybe the health has improved. Maybe it's been a while and they feel really really good and they're like whoa I can just go have a drink now surely. Right? So my question is, what insights I guess could you share for someone at the first stage and then someone at the second as well.

Yes, so that first stage that I've always been a big believer in having that experiment with it right? Because I think we can have that curious observer we’re not judging everything that happens as well. So when things come up and we do an experiment and I encourage all our members and clients too to write lab notes. You know what happened today? Today I felt like crap and this is why or today I felt triggered and this is why today I felt amazing, this is why. You know it just really takes that scariness away where there's no or failing either because it’s an experiment. Right. Just like let's see what happens. It could be fun adventure as opposed to deprivation and punishment.

So with that I would say to you just start , just start an experiment like you know, if you choose one month even one month could feel very scary but well let's just see what happens. I'm just looking at it as just curious observation of you know one month out of your whole life. Let let's see what happened there. And then we get to the end of that moth, just extending it out if you feel amazing and when the women come to the point where the experiment is over so for example in Sexy Sobriety at 90 days have come to the end. And they all did, I now feel like well I prove that I can go 90 days without it. So now I may as well go back. Right. Yes.

So my question to them was always like well if you've proven that you don't need it what do you need it for? Right as always this forces them to think..

Also I think you know when we've been using or are becoming addicted or leaning on a substance and this is whether we’re talking social media addiction comfort eating or whatever it is or shopping you know we all have this little addiction and when it comes to alcohol addiction if we've been using alcohol in a certain way for 20 years as I had been that's a hard habit to break, right? I just feel really deep seated beliefs going on there of how we saw our parent interact with alcohol. How we saw the rest of our friends and family interact with it we have some deeply held beliefs that it takes a little time to change so after three months I ask is your life better, your productivity, your relationship, your creativity, your problems, your career or your self-care, does it feel good. And they all say yes.

Then let's see six month, right? Let’s see what happens. Because from three months to 6 months is a huge change as well I it’s I crash a course in personal development because there's no way to hide being alcohol free. Yeah. We cant run to the bottle to escape emotions. Yes. It is intense, it is not to the faint of heart, it is for the brave beautiful souls who want to see where it can go.

I love that. Anyone who decides to embark on something like what is not the social norm is truly such a brave soul. But there is a completely different world. On the other side and I just think it's wonderful what you're doing, so yeah!

That's so great. So, okay. Just to end our little conversation today. I'll get you to explain how everyone can get in touch with you but before I do that I like to give my viewers a dare. Right now? Yeah! Okay

I dare you to embark with your own sobriety experiment. You know, give it a try because you never know like I would never have known my true potential for the biggest one what I would never have known how much it will impact the rest of my life and how I can feel so proud of myself so true to my pair if I hadn’t embark on that and that's why I'm so passionate about helping other women to it. So my dare is to embark on that experiment, right? just to see what happen.

I love it. Thank you so much. So if you're watching this and you accept the dare, then I would love for you to comment below this video So Bex and I can see how long you're going to experiment for and if you have any questions about you know preparations or anything like that you can sort of lay them below and we can help you out there.

So Bex, Where can I go and find just to get you know more resources and help for this kind of topic.

Yes so come on over to Bex website to check out her course on Soboriety and get a free gift you can also download free coaching call, so you can get a feel for what the program is about. I call it lessons of self-love and self-care so these are jam packed with  information and yet it is freaky free

That is so cool. Thank you so much and I really appreciate you taking the time to speak with everyone today. Guys good head on over Bex’ Web site. Check it all out. She's got some incredible stuff over there and she's got her new book out at the moment. A Happier Hour and it's a brilliant read.

You can get her on Kindle you can get it in her normal book. I don't know what that is. Paperback. And it's fantastic. It's all about Beck’s story and how she got through this first 90 days and just some incredible mindset shifts. And I really couldn't put it down so I really appreciate you. Thank you so much Bex.

Thank you so much Hayley. It’s been an absolute pleasure.

Thanks .Bye

Stay Curious, Stay open. The life you crave is so much closer than you think.

Love,

Hayley x x